Leaders that move us leave fingerprints on our soul – they move our emotions and leave us changed. It is often held the compassion and success cannot coexist; yet it is compassion – understanding - that drives success. Often called “soft” skills and so easily overlooked and undervalued, being in a mindful relationship with others is the foundation to leading, influencing and business and personal success.
Business often focuses on the “what” and not the “how” when the “how” something is done often matters more than what is done. How we come into contact with others and how we lead is central for understanding and influence. – a way of being.
Steven M. Aukers, Ph.D., a management consultant, professor and former CEO will explore using awareness to create understanding and facilitate an authentic dialogue to create intimacy and influence others. Steve will further explore emotional intelligence, understanding and overcoming resistance and the cycle of experience to create meaningful interaction with customers and employees and drive business success. Dr. Aukers will discuss how to create the environment and context to facilitate this mindful interaction and the use of self as a tool to positively influence others. Leaders manage meaning for the group and can create an environment of compassion and gratitude that facilitates those around them to commit to something larger than themselves.
Dr. Aukers brings a quarter century of executive leadership experience across a wide landscape of industries and currently is a consultant with Catalytics Performance Consulting and a business professor at DeSales University. He has held CEO and other senior executive roles in global publically held companies, private firms, non-profit organizations and universities – including Deutsche Post DHL, TNS-WPP, Texas A & M University, Indiana University, J. Reckner Associates and HealthShare, Inc. His specialty is working with executives, boards, and CEO’s of public and private companies on leadership, strategic planning and growth, executive coaching, senior team effectiveness, marketing and sales, process improvement and business turnaround. He holds a B.A. M.S. and Ph.D. from Indiana University.
By: Deb Oliver
Dr. Beth Weinstock, a clinical psychologist an executive coach and organizational consultant, spoke to the Women’s Business Forum on Wednesday about our Inner Critic/Inner Worrier and how to develop and strengthen the voice of our Inner Coach. Beth, who writes for the Huffington Post, began the process of teaching the assembled members how to empower themselves in the workplace and in their personal lives.
She began by telling us the ways we are negative with ourselves and defining the Inner Voice that highjacks our confidence and makes us doubt ourselves by delineating the three areas where this doubt arises. Firstly, she said it is evolutionary. The “negativity bias” evolved with man’s brain being “vigilant toward potential danger and the need to survive”. Once we recognize our predilection towards this behavior we need to manage it.
Secondly, our family origins (childhood issues) have a defining influence upon our Inner Critic. If/when our needs as children were not met we decide it was our fault. Beth says, “And if it is our fault, we think we can fix it” and developing that Inner Critic is a protective function to micromanage behavior to meet what we assume are the wants of others.
Thirdly, Beth attributes it to growing up female. She states, “by fifth grade girls have become negatively self-referential (I’m not that fat; I’m not that ugly)”.
If we are to counteract this thinking we must know what we are saying that is damaging. Thus the development of an Inner Coach needs to be created to thwart the negative message. The Inner Coach is built to take the criticisms and question them. It says stop and allows you to analyze what is happening, investigate what stories you are making up, and stops the “black and white thinking”. It permits you to examine what “beliefs you are making up that are not accurate”.
Beth also stated that “women are not as good at failure as men”. She says that possibly because men engage in sports to a greater extent they have a capacity to see loss in a less personalized context, as external. Women, “get devastated” and internalize/personalize it. She feels women need to build up a resilience to combat this
Finally, Beth indicated that women need to get better at; negotiating (salary); not being nice; out-besting our friends and conquering the need for perfection. After all, in a study on qualities needed for leadership 70% were what are characteristically associated with women.
What an amazing group of women.. and men. WBF continues to stand out as a networking group with a unique culture of inspiration and support. Come grow your business with us!
Networking: What's in it for YOU?
We all believe networking is important to grow our businesses. But how do you network the right way to get what you need from the organizations you are involved with? Here are just a few tips to help you get the most from your networking:
1) Show up: this is critical, however it's just the beginning!
2) Ask questions. Learn how you can help others, why they are there and who they want to meet.
3) Connect. Introduce people that may be able to help one another.
4) Be generous. Share what you know in a non-promotional way; you will be remembered for your expertise.
5) Get involved and take action! Learn where your expertise can best benefit the organization and its members and become a champion.
6) Persevere. Building your network must be based on trust and relationships - this takes time!
When you become known for showing up, serving others and taking action, you'll become become the "go to" person in your network when someone needs the services you offer.
What can I, and the Women's Business Forum, do to support you? We really want to know, so please share!